You’re Not You

Welcome back to my Blong. I’m sorry I stayed away so long. I’m trying to “make up for it” by posting three entries in one evening. If you want to understand where this post came from, make sure you read the one before this. I’ll ask my ” post-er” Laura Marsh, to make these fall in line . One, two three. Just like the Holy Trinity, right ?

Mine was a happy, active, exciting childhood. I am the second youngest of nine children, I’m sure each of siblings have different perspectives . By the Time I came along I think my parents were much more lenient and relaxed. I jumped off the roof with a pillow case thinking it could be a parachute. Since that didn’t work, I tried an umbrella like Mary Poppins. That didn’t work either. But it was fun to think about Julie Andrews cuz I hD a crush on her even though I had no idea what that crush feeling was…

And then sometching happened, something devastating-life changing, diagnosed when iw as 11, she died just after I turned 13 . I hadn’t gone through my angry teenage years, so is til wanted to be at moms side. I want my arm to touch her arm.

But isn’t everything changing always, nothing is permanent, so it’s all life – changing. By not trying to cling to things that used to be, we let go of suffering. Can I cling to my moms robe and cry” please don’t go, please. Don’t leave me- my hands can’t hang onto your robe.they’re slipping , I can’t hold onto….This is suffering. Let go, to grow yesterday’s attachment is gone …

Embrace death & dying to live more fully. No fear energy taking you away from this moment. The longer people stay away the worse they feel and less likely to ever come b/c guilt. It’s okay. I understand . But please learn from this. I am here for you to practice with/ on. It okay. Our PILLOW: Jennifer Terra and me with Huyen.
When I talk to classes, My hands and arms look like I’m conducting an orchestra ,,,,and in a way, Mybe I am. Yeah, maybe in am. Are you feeling conducted?

Cancer diagnosis who knows how long I’ve had it ? I know the date of my surgery and my scans, but who knows? Really it’s the same with ALS.? I do know I was born with the very rare genetic mutation butter who really knows when it turned the key… Yeah, the keys been in the ignition but when did it actually turn it on? It’s hard to tell because I’m so tuned into it- way more aware of my own body than any doctor .how about While I was watching the Lou Gehrig movie Pride of the Yankees on TV ? I couldn’t put the popcorn in my mouth? I kept hitting my chin? When I couldn’t open my bottle of carrot juice? When I started looking like a big flirt cuz I couldn’t button my top buttons?

Choose to adapt. My choice in the morning how I want to feel.
Facebook thank you ! Nadine hears music, we meet, do interview, I offered to help fundraiser market ,promote, DCC ice bucket to BETTER. Days? How perfect to have an ALS Documentary featuring music written and performed by someone with ALS?! My arms are open wide, and look what comes in? Be asked to talk at Emerson, sac city, Emerson, woodland .sierra, DCC , Korematsu. TEDx ?
Hillary swank has ALS in movie “you’re not you.”

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