The Men All Pause

Howdy to my sistahs and grrrrl friends..

So,, just between us grrrrrlz—-talkin’  ’bout menopause….One of my sisters  asked me when my last period was, and I answered something “Oh, geez, a long time, before I was diagnosed, I think. (if any of you young uns don’t wan to read about the future of your womanliness, you can stop reading.)

When I was going through all the tests they use in the process of elimination to identify the symptoms of ALS, one  the test results revealed that I was post menopausal. My doctor agreed, and she asked when my last period was. I think at that time I had had maybe two  in 3 years.

I do remember having hot flashes when we were helping our brother Larry Larry and  also the night sweats. It wasn’t bad at all, and of course I attributed it to the stress of what was happening in our lives at that time. I didn’t notice any mood changes, but that’s because I was so focused on Larry and the rest of the family (and I already was worried that I had ALS)

Annyhooo, twice in the last two years I had some spotting, or it looked like I might be getting a period again, which shocked me.

But what I discovered was, that sometimes the blood was coming out of my bung hole

The other time it only happened when I peed. so I was bleeding a little, but it was not a period.

I talked to my doctor and she said to keep a close eye on these abnormal bleedings. (It’s pretty hard to look at your own rectum (turns out I had internal, and some external hemorrhoids.. This is a FUN topic!) She was concerned that it could be some other kind of abnormal bleeding the post-menopausal women get, and it’s bad sign. She asked if I wanted to pursue that, like doing some tests blah ablh., and that she understood if I didn’t want to bother wiht it. I said I had no interest in spending time/energy into looking at something else that might be happening with my body. I made some sort of joke, and my doctor laughed. So no, i am not looking into it. I have not had any more “spottting” or “specking” in quite awhile.

Anyhoo, if any of you have had this experience, it might be something YOU might be interested in asking your doctor.

So, long story even longer, my peri-menopause (not Perry Como) and my menopause was really quite subtle, and I don’t miss having periods one bit! Good thing since putting tampons in could be a real trick. Not like a magic trick, you know like, “watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat,” or “or watch me pull a tampon out of my twa….area down there.”

And I stopped using those smelly cotton mattresses when I was in my twenties.

I’m rambling as you can tell, because I really need to “speak/communicate” with others. Typo-ing is easier than talking this morning– my throat is worse again ,and this morning Linda saw little white specks in my throat  that she thinks are early signs of strep throat. I’ve never had strep before, but Linda has–twice.

If I’m not better by tomorrow I swear on a stack of Bubbles that I’ll call the doc tamale.

I’ll stop being such a Chatty Cathy now.



muststoptypinmuststoptypingmuststoptypingmsutstoptyping ZZzzz…

Comments on: "The Men All Pause" (1)

  1. Debra Knight said:

    I never want you to stop being a Chatty Cathy! If you do, how will I distract myself when I just can’t look at my novel another second without fear of vomiting on the keyboard?

    Sometimes I write bits and pieces that seems to have no place. I stick them all in a file called scraps in case I want them later.

    I like the following, which I wrote a few weeks ago:

    “Thoughts are lighter than air and stronger than steel. They endure after buildings crumble and mountains have turned to dust. They live on long after we die.

    “Be careful what you think.”

    I thought I’d share. One good ramble deserves another.

    I just made bread in my new blender. I know. Bread in a blender. Who knew? It came out pretty good.

    None of this has anything to do with menopause, but I have a suspicion that you do not strictly enforce staying on topic.

    Okay, back to the daunting task at hand. Bye till next time.

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